The Force Awakens review

The Force Awakens is a definite step up from the prequel trilogy (I liked Revenge of the Sith quite a bit and Attack of the Clones somewhat). The focus is back on the storytelling in the search to find Luke before the new form of the Galactic Empire, the First Order, led by Kylo Ren, General Hux and Leader Snoke do, and I like the characters of Kylo Ren and Hux as villains quite a bit.

We get some new characters here, and I do like them. I liked the older Han Solo the best, though; when I first saw this film in Kerrville, I thought it was a bit slow until he shows up. Then the characterization, action, and emotion build from there to a great climax at the First Order's Starkiller Base.

I also saw this in the D-Box seating gimmick at the Santikos Palladium AVX in northern San Antonio today, and, let's just say, it's like riding Star Tours at Disney World/Disneyland for two hours, but not too rough to make you lose your popcorn. That was a lot of fun, and I recommend you see this film, and in D-Box or IMAX if you can. Drive 5 hours if you have to.

Carrabba's review

I have been going to Carrabba's ever since I was little, and I've always loved it. I now have more reason to love it since I tried out one of their specialty classics for this go round. 

First things first. You always start with some of the best restaurant bread anywhere, and a lovely dose of herbed olive oil to go with it. That oil was wonderful and delicious.

So what I got for my entree was the brick chicken with sides of mashed potatoes and fettuccini alfredo, and, I have to admit, I didn't know what to expect. I thought part of the chicken was tough, but it was mostly very good and very well cooked. Mash and pasta were great as always. My co-worker let me have some of her filet, and it was tender and really good.

I also had one of their specialty coffee drinks for dessert, Caffe Carrabba, and I liked it. Cappuccino spiked with Frangelico, Bailey's, and Tuaca, with cinnamon. Good for a little after-dinner drink.

Carrabba's is a must see when one visits Houston. It's classic Italian at some of its finest.

Inside Out review rating.

I loved this movie. I have a ratings scale now. It's called the Walt Disney "Black Diamond" Classics scale. And this film hits the top of the scale..

It is a Walt Disney Black Diamond Signature Classic!!!

Congratulations, Pixar!!

AMC Studio 30 theater review.

AMC Studio 30

2949 Dunvale Rd, Houston, TX 77063

Not a bad place to see a movie. It is starting to show its age, but I came here quite a few times as an adolescent, and aside from the front concession stand, Quantum Bits, being changed into one of AMC's new cafeterias with those lovely Coca-Cola Freestyle machines with the other two concession stands, Wildebeest Feast and whatever the other one was, being shut down, plus the IMAX being added, not much has changed. The seats were nice when this place opened 18 years ago, but they do feel a bit hard now, though the stadium seating gave me a perfect view of the screen. My concern is the area is a bit shady, though this is one of the theaters in the Memorial Village vicinity, and they decided to drive a theater at PlazAmericas/Sharpstown Mall, which was taking some of the shady people, out of business. I do call them out on that for giving the community a little more danger than it needs to have, but this is still a good theater for West Houston. Saw The Good Dinosaur here, and saw it late at night, when there weren't that many people here.

San Andreas review

This is a pretty movie, but I was also pretty bored by it. One of my problems is this movie managed to hit every single disaster movie cliche pothole. Every. Single. One.

First was the estranged family, though this one barely meets that word since they are still on good terms. They might as well have still been married, and of course, they are together at the end.

Second was the "villain" character played by the original "Mr. Fantastic". That character was completely pointless. He does leave the daughter behind, but then he really has no purpose in the film afterwards since he doesn't meet the other characters, appearing on the street twice before getting crushed by a tanker. And how does he react to that? Exasperated. Not screaming, annoyed. If they wanted to lob a shot at big business, this is one that misses by a mile. This wouldn't scare Donald Trump in his sleep. 

Third was the science of this movie was out of whack. Tsunamis were pretty inaccurate in this film.

I think this is one of the most laughable disaster movies I've seen yet, and I've seen 2012. That had some entertaining destruction and lines. San Andreas doesn't

Cue my Jeffrey Katzenberg quote: "It didn't work at all."

Alright, my review of Casino Royale.... the 1967 spoof version, sadly; this is one of the most infamous films of all time.

The Nostalgia Critic once said to review a bad comedy is one of the toughest things to do (and so is making a comedy) because you can only go, "That isn't funny", so many times before you get up and leave the theater. This movie is one of the worst examples of comedy, and they had the cajones to soil James Bond while they were at it. 

First things first; before I get into the review, I have to give this movie a special stance called [[Echo Synth]] THE WAGGING FINGER OF SHAME [[end echo mod]]. If you watched Ebert & Roeper's review of the 2005 remake of The Amityville Horror, you would know that they awarded this to movies that the studios were too embarrassed to screen in advance for film critics. The 1967 Casino Royale was not screened for critics.

Anyway, the opening theme to the movie IS pretty catchy, but some of the music does feel inappropriate.

The opening scene of the movie feels disjointed, and the scenes in the castle feel even worse with overheavy accents, bad dancing, and pointless scenes until everyone starts falling down. Are they dead or unconscious? Who cares? And even that has no point.

Bond is one of the most famous womanizers in every other movie, but this spoof turned him into an old prude and drastically altered his character. This is James Bond in name only; even Austin Powers makes a better 007 that this one does, and that's saying a lot.

It only gets worse. The villain group, a take on SMERSH, has a cheesy battle map with a guy running the place named Dr. Noah, who turns out to be Bond's nephew, Jimmy, a character played by the not-British Woody Allen when the real Bond and the top impostor are played by Pink Panther's David Niven and Peter Sellers, and this is a character that's only mentioned once prior to his reveal at the end of the movie. SMERSH is behind everything, which leads to Sir James Bond taking over MI6 and the heavily-accented people who run it, and hiring a bunch of impostors, including his illegitimate daughter, whose mother is Mata Hari, the World War spy. She has a good intro scene, but that's it.

Her mission in Berlin is where if you were taking the movie seriously up to that point, you stop here, because the bidding scene didn't seem to have much purpose, or any they made clear. The main impostor Bond, Evelyn Tremble, gets himself into Casino Royale and his game with the only major villain from the book, Le Chiffe, played by Orson Welles, the second horror vet to take the role after Peter Lorre did in an early 50's TV movie. This version of the character is a way-too affable magician and not a spy, Soviet or SMERSH agent, or even a good gambler; he's cheating, and while we do know how he's cheating, it's not used against him, and he and the fake Bond are killed in his little "torture machine" which Tex Avery uses.

Eventually, the bad guys kidnap Bond's daughter, bringing the real Bond to the casino and into SMERSH's headquarters; Jimmy Bond is poisoned with a pill that will blow the place sky high at this point, and, while the good guys do get the right idea of actually leaving, a brawl that turns the casino into a ridiculous and childish Cowboys and Indians game just. Stops. Them. Cue Jim burping 400 times, cue the building blowing up and wiping out the cast. The world is saved, but that's an anti climatic and ridiculous way to end the whole thing.

This movie is filled with all the cliches of the Bond series (after only 4 films with a 5th to follow in 2 months, at that) played badly. And I just remembered, M supposedly died at the beginning, but this movie is written so badly, they never explain it and thought to trust us to take their word for it. There are several other bad explanations, and a lot of the conversations have no emotion to them. As for the pacing and feel, the movie starts very slow, and just devolves into an insane concoction of action right out of Tex Avery. Makes you wonder what drugs the makers were doing. I wasn't expecting much, but if you're going to use Bond, do something that's not a poor-man's version of Pink Panther. The special effects are bad, some things in the film, like the U.F.O., were not dealt with in a manner to where we're supposed to laugh or take it seriously, and the dialogue can be laughable. It says a lot when the Austin Powers movies can show more emotion and, for their ridiculous plots, be more believable.

There are two good things about this film. The title track from Herb Albert is pretty catchy, and I kinda liked the scene with the introduction of Bond's daughter, Mata Bond. There was some good to decent choreography there. The rest of the film is a Frankenstein's Monster patchwork of scenes, and one thing that should tip you off to this being bad: there are 5 directors credited. Outside of the music, I really can't remember much; this version of Casino Royale is sadly an enjoyment-free dead zone, and it convinced the guys behind the real James Bond series to fight hard against something like this happening again, which set the stage for some nasty legal work that was only settled for good two years ago. This movie's from 1967; my father was in high school.

I cannot recommend this one at all; it makes no sense, and it's shoddily edited and directed. It's a very poor version of one of the Roger Moore films, and those are still somewhat competent. THIS is one of the biggest turkeys ever crafted in Hollywood, and I just know, when The Nostalgia Critic gets to Bond movies, which I see happening with a new one coming in November, this movie will be one of the movies he reviews.

Cocktail movie review

This is an old movie; it's from 1988, the year I was born, but it's not a goodie....

Okay, my first instincts on Cocktail is it does have a good soundtrack going into the movie. It's typical teenage behavior, and a reunion that could use more of an emotional connection. And, so, it has a decent vibe going in, and I like Tom Cruise and Bryan Brown's energy. But I do feel it's hohum until we get to that job interview and first bartending scenes, where we get one of those cliches that really doesn't work unless it's a full-blown comedy (Hint: Clip-show mind screw). Last I checked, Cocktail is a love story.

A lot of the character interactions seems awkward to me. The drunk walk is one of those examples.

Bad poem in the "Cell Block". Too narmy and nonsensical.

The movie is rather uneventful, being really only a music video for the accompanying soundtrack and maybe a travel brochure for Jamaica. I think there is a little bit of tension when the baby is mentioned, but I didn't really feel like sitting through the whole movie.

Now there was a small second-run movie palace in Houston called Bel Air, like the ritzy neighborhood in Hollywood, that had a bar with windows into one of the auditoriums. If I were an adult in 1988/1989, and I went into the bar before going to the box office, and I saw Cocktail playing behind the glass, well, good news! It was a free showing! You would NOT be missing out on watching the movie without sound from the Bel Air's bar, because there's nothing going on. I can get more entertainment talking to the theater's barman. Too bad they don't make movie theaters like that anymore as a safety net for other bad movies.

The only good thing about Cocktail IS the soundtrack, and this movie was the debut of the only post "Good Vibrations" big hit from The Beach Boys, which was "Kokomo". That song and the songs in the soundtrack are classic, and you do need to buy this movie to hear the soundtrack.

I only did this one because I played barkeep in New Mexico, and I felt it would be appropriate. Well, I've got a review for one of the lamest 80's films (and the Worst Picture 1988 Razzie winner as I discovered) under my belt, so there's an accomplishment. If you wanna argue the point, this movie may help pretraining for any aspiring bartenders (there's fun in catering at parties, which I'd rather do over watching this movie.).

There is good news. Disney and Touchstone had a considerably better choice in moviemaking with Roger Rabbit the same year. Spend your money on that.


http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/1004420-cocktail/

My review for Pizzeria Luca in Albuquerque, NM

Here's an underdog

http://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g60933-d2419570-Reviews-Pizzeria_Luca_and_Wine_Bar-Albuquerque_New_Mexico.html

I didn't physically visit this restaurant; my father brought back dinner. I actually really loved the fettuccine Alfredo. It was very creamy, very buttery, and the chicken was cooked well. I didn't have any of the pizza, but the pasta made this restaurant grow on me. Next time I'm in Albuquerque, I'll check the place out myself.

My Tripadvisor review for Honey's in Brownfield, Texas.

Oooh, boy. Here comes the storm:

http://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g55538-d5422068-Reviews-Honey_s-Brownfield_Texas.html

We ate here on the way to Albuquerque, and it took them an hour to get our food out, which is not acceptable on a road trip. The food was also overcooked and dry too. Go to the BBQ joint across the street.

Yeah, in the words of Gordon Ramsay, for my pork sandwich, all I can say is, "It's drrrryyyyy."

Having to wait an hour for our food when we are on a 10 to 12 hour drive and then getting mediocre food is unacceptable. Even Whataburger is better because it's more convenient.

My Tripadvisor review for Antiquity Restaurant in Albuquerque, NM.

I ate here again last night, and it's still good. I like their warm bread and the warm hospitality, and their soup.

I got a Chateaubriand to split with one of my friends, and it was very good. Nice and tender, with a good au jus. I also liked the potatoes that came with it.

I said it before, I'll say it again, this is not a restaurant to miss in Albuquerque.

http://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g60933-d444201-r299061768-Antiquity_Restaurant-Albuquerque_New_Mexico.html#

My Tripadvisor review for Padilla's Mexican Kitchen in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

This joint is absolutely delicious. There's not much in the decor, but there really doesn't need to be. If I had to advise a dish to go with, get one of the sopapilla dishes with the chiles. You can use honey to cut down on the spice, thankfully.

And on that note, the sopapillas here are the best. Just keep in mind, there can be a long line for lunch. When I came here on my last visit, the line was almost out the door. A few minutes in, and we get some mighty-fine New Mexican food. 

Tip: For chile dishes, order "Christmas" to get both red and green. Hard for me to figure out which one's my favorite.

This is one of those places you need to eat at when you make it to New Mexico.

http://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g60933-d444205-Reviews-Padilla_s_Mexican_Kitchen-Albuquerque_New_Mexico.html

Disney Editorial

Hey, Disney, I think it's time to rename Pixar Animation Studios Pixar Animation CLASSICS. Everything they're made is gold, and Inside Out confirms it. I just think its appropriate. Sony has it's film division named Sony Pictures Classics, but Pixar Animation Classics would be very honest.

Imaxination's Video Corner: Custom Classics Covers

Imaxination's Video Corner: Custom Classics Covers: So recently, I've been making custom Disney VHS covers. Covers of films that never existed, I decided to somewhat add to the alterna...


Love the black Wreck-It Ralph cover. I'd use that on a custom VHS or Beta as part of a promotional campaign, and maybe put some of the guest characters like Sonic in the profile diamond.

Disney Editorial: Inside Out Edition

I just came back from watching the Pixar movie Inside Out, and I was very impressed with the concept.

Then I realized, Disney, you need to use Inside Out in the Imagination pavilion in Epcot. Have it be in the theater that housed Captain EO. I wouldn't completely remove Figment's ride, since he's become an iconic character in Epcot, but you can integrate him into Inside Out's Emotions.

I mean, this is common sense. And on that note, I think we need an updated Cranium Command. Inside Out's director, Pete Docter, did work on that.

My RT review of Tomorrowland.

Oh, boy. This is going to be the most complicated review I've written on Rotten Tomatoes yet. Head's up.

First off, while I like George Clooney as an actor, he came across as a bit too much mean spirited when he shows up halfway through the film. Blasting the girl with the door was a bit too much for me. Plus, he doesn't have enough chemistry with the other actors besides Hugh Laurie to be effective as Frank Walker.

But, why did we need all the end of the world stuff? I saw a preview of this movie in the Captain EO theater in the Tomorrowland zone in Disneyland last May, and the sneak preview looked really cool. It detailed how Frank Walker got to Tomorrowland, and I think a story of him growing up and putting his mind to work there would have been a cool, inspirational story to tell. Sadly, it looked like the scenes from the Disneyland sneak preview were the best scenes in the film, as it shifts tone for probably the wrong reasons to being an on the run urban movie, and it takes too long to get back to the fantasy. We didn't see enough of Tomorrowland to really get how that world works, and I think that's a missed opportunity.

The story also committed another sin in regards to the future world's existence, and this is where the film could be considered as having nuked the fridge. We start to talk about the end of the world through several means, including but not limited to global warming, icecaps melting, tornadoes, flooding, nuclear explosions, to name a few. Putting this particular plot point in, I think, was a big mistake.

Some of the characters need work too. You don't particularly care for the ones who die, and they are not written cleverly enough. It all leads to an unenergetic climax and ending, which really let me down.

And of course, the movie had a massive budget. This is the third Disney film in recent years to suffer this problem after John Carter and The Lone Ranger, which I have not seen. If you're going to have a James Cameron-sized production, the writing and action needs to be on the level of Titanic and Terminator. Tomorrowland wasn't.

Disney was hoping for a futuristic, invention themed film, but after seeing this, I'm afraid they have instead crafted their own equivalent to Universal's Waterworld, which is a very bad thing. Yeah, this film has the same potholes as 1995's Waterworld. Amazing how mistakes people have made back in the 90s are resurfacing now.

If you're just interested in decent action, you may want to give Tomorrowland a shot, but it's got the same style-over-substance problems from Waterworld, along with the overbudget from it and 2005's Sahara to match. I'm not going to really recommend it. Skip to after the end of the world with Mad Max if you DON'T take your kids, or go for a second dose of Avengers if you do.

Disney Editorial And Suggestions 3

If there's a time for Disney to consider trying again at integrating a video game franchise into their business, now is it.

I would strongly suggest taking Sonic away from Sega. I do not think they are doing a particular good job with that franchise, and since Sonic is Mario's longtime rival, and Mario and Nintendo are now integrating with Universal Studios, I see this as a natural maneuver for Disney to take.

More to come...

ANOTHER host change for Who Wants To Be A Millionaire

Yes, they're bringing in the THIRD replacement for Meredith Vieira. Who do we have this time?

Chris Harrison, from The Bachelor.

I wish him luck for Season 14, but if he doesn't work out, and the show gets to 15, we might as well go back to Meredith or even Regis Philbin for Season 15.

Disney Editorial And Suggestions 2

Another recommendation I would like to make to Disney President Thomas Staggs is the addition of a water park in the Disneyland Resort.

But not just a normal water park.

I would strongly suggest an indoor water park.

So, why my suggestion?

Well, it seems the next logical step to add a water park to Disneyland now that the renovations on Disney California Adventure are now complete, and we have had time to enjoy the fruits of Disney's labor. Someone on the Internet once compared Disney World and Disneyland by citing Disney World as a desktop computer, and Disneyland as a laptop. That makes sense to me, seeing how much power a desktop and how much room Disney World can grow, while it's more convenient to navigate Disneyland due to it's smaller size. But Disney World DOES have two water parks, plus several resorts with elaborate pools, and the Yacht and Beach Club, which have the quintessential mini-water park, Stormalong Bay. Topping that in Disneyland will be tough, but the challenge is part of the fun.

As for it being indoors, that's both to allow the park to be used regardless of the weather, and to give it an edge by having several levels of pools in a giant multi floored building, each with a Disney theme, and slides that would go down to the lower floors. The themes I would suggest are as follows, but let's keep others in mind.


1. Fantasia and Fantasia 2000

2. The Little Mermaid

3. Pirates Of the Caribbean

4. Finding Nemo

5. Frozen


I have also heard that other companies have built indoor theme parks elsewhere on Earth, and I do feel it's time for Disney, the industry leader, to join the fray.

So, I would build the water park on the Simba parking lot. That is the closest lot to the resort hotels, and the only one within the general rectangle that the resort is shaped like. I am unaware if there may be parking problems, so I WOULD build an extension to the Disney & Friends parking garage before closing the Simba parking lot and initiating the groundbreaking on the water park.

Last, but not least, the name.

Let's call it:

DISNEY MARINE WATER PARK

If Disney were to pull the feet I'm am suggesting off, it would be yet another innovation and technology accomplishment for Disney Imagineers and The Walt Disney Company, and will revolutionize the industry.

This challenge is up to you, Thomas Staggs, and all the wonderful people at Disney!

Disney Editorial and Suggestions

So I want to congratulate Thomas Staggs for his promotion to President and COO of The Walt Disney Company. You really deserve it. I'd like to make a few suggestions regarding Disney's direction.

First, I actually like Disney as a hotelier. The service and amenities I've received from the Beach Club and the Grand Californian are top notch, and are two of my favorite hotels in the world. Let's expand the hotel business with what I'm calling the Walt Disney Masterpiece Collection of historic and luxury hotels and resorts through the United States. I'm a regular traveler, and I've been to some of the best hotels and hidden gems. One of my new favorites is The Lodge at Torrey Pines. I reviewed that hotel not too long ago, and I really enjoyed it.

Yes, I know the Walt Disney Masterpiece Collection was a video line in the nineties, but we can reuse it to be an equivalent to the Luxury Collection from Starwood, and the Waldorf-Astoria Collection from Hilton.

This is a list of hotels and resorts that might make a worthy addition to the Disney family:

The Menger Hotel, San Antonio, Texas

Arizona Inn, Tuscon, Arizona

La Cantera Resort and Spa, San Antonio, Texas

Mayflower Park Hotel, Seattle, Washington

Lakeway Resort and Spa, Austin, Texas

The Lodge at Torrey Pines, La Jolla, California

The Beverly Hills Hotel, Los Angeles, California

Hotel Bel-Air, Los Angeles, California

More to come.

And on the note of reusing brands, I would reuse the Walt Disney Classics as the Walt Disney Black Diamond Classics upon the end of the Diamond Editions. That line was noteworthy for being a favorite of collectors and it introduced my generation to those movies, plus it was crucial to Disney's development. Plus, the name does work, and I would have this line as a Disney version of the Criterion Collection, a portfolio of the best and most memorable movies in Disney's library, which includes a lot. I have several levels of classics I would propose:

Black Diamond Favorites

Black Diamond Classics

Black Diamond Masterpieces

Black Diamond Timeless Classics

Black Diamond Signature Classics

That last one would be reserved for the best of the best of Disney's films, such as Fantasia, Pinocchio, Beauty and the Beast, WALL-E, Inside Out, Raiders Of The Lost Ark, those movies.

If you go this route, do update and reuse those now-classic logos for these two brands.

That will do it for this editorial. See you next time.

La Jolla's Torrey Pines Resort

What can I say about the beautiful Lodge at Torrey Pines? For starters, the resort is absolutely beautiful. The wooden interior and fireplace in the lobby is a very warm welcome, and the staff at the hotel are very pleasant.

I like my room. The beds are comfortable and elegant, the bathroom is spacious, and the shower works well. I like those separate rooms for the toilet, by the way. I did feel like Wifi could be better, and the page for getting free Wifi needs work if the tab to confirm is hidden by the graphics! :0 I do like the Keurig in the room.

Now on to the restaurant and dining. I wasn't given the best first impression with the food here through room service. I found my chicken and pasta to be bland, like the chicken wasn't seasoned enough and the pasta was undercooked.
The main restaurant, Valentin, more than made up for it, though. My mother liked the waitress, Paige, quite a bit. The people in the restaurant and bar were very friendly. I loved their chicken dishes, especially the "brick" chicken. And the desserts were very good too.
The Golfer's grill was also very nice. Good burgers, and I liked the chicken there too. To top it off, they have great espresso (Ryan Bros.).

The pool area is very nice. I like the view from the hot tub.

There's a lot of great things about the lodge. I highly recommend it.

• Stayed January 2015, traveled with family

North (the Rob Reiner film)

Now, I've never seen North, but I have watched the Nostalgia Critic's review of it, and, yeah, it's tough to sit through. This film is noteworthy for being a box-office bomb, which was aggravated by the infamous "Hate" review from Roger Ebert. Also, being in the shadow of The Lion King doesn't help.

The Great Mouse Detective

So what do I think of The Great Mouse Detective. This:

This is one of my childhood films, and I do still enjoy it. Do love Vincent Price.

If I had to pick a "dark age" Disney film to lump in with the classics, it's this one. The characters are very good, and play each other off very well. It's very entertaining, and it works.

Welcome to my new blog.

Hello there, this is the autistic critic, and welcome to my new blog. I'm sorry I don't have anything yet, but check back soon for some cool updates.